I just started noticing lately that so many people unintentionally assume women can’t do anything. For example, I’ve seen people applaud a girl after she dropped her motorcycle and picked it back up, as if they were amazed by it. I swear to God, people just straight up think that women are incapable of doing basic stuff. What’s wild is that I’ve met quite a few women who actually enjoy this. It’s so goofy because they are literally being viewed as less capable, yet they are happy about it. Then, you get criticized just because you didn’t treat them like they were less. I’m a dude, but damn, this situation kinda vexes me. I mean sure, enjoy chivalry if you want, but getting shit on for not assuming you’re less capable is so annoying. It’s not even that I don’t want to help, I mean I don’t mind helping, if it’s needed but like god damn, I can’t read minds.

  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe
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    1 month ago

    Not sure your example is the best. Motorcycles can weigh up to 1000lbs. There’s a technique where you lift with your legs that doesn’t require upper body strength, but if you don’t know it, it’s quite a struggle.

    I’ve helped/been helped when I or others dropped a bike, and the help probably prevented a strain injury.

    Anyone who can lift a bike is either smart, strong, or both, and has my respect.

    • unknownman@lemmy.zipdeleted by creatorOP
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      1 month ago

      It’s definitely not the best in hindsight. It’s kinda a “skill”.

    • Freyi@lemmy.sdf.org
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      30 days ago

      +1 to that – when I was a kid, I saw a cop drop his bike while trying to park it on the kickstand. He couldn’t lift it back up (at least, within the 30 seconds I was gawking), and he looked fairly strong…

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    I feel you.

    Being real though, picking up some motorsickles is hard. I’m always impressed even when big guys do it solo, much less easily. Not entirely because they’re heavy, there’s also the factor that when most people drop their bike, it isn’t casually. There’s a reason it’s down, and that can interfere with getting it back up.

    Still, totally with you. The fact it’s a woman doing it solo is no more or less impressive than a man of the same approximate size.

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    I understand your rant, but also wanted to say depending on the motorcycle, that lifting it back up is a huge achievement that should be applauded.

    I think my sport bike weighed 460lbs, but those Goldwings are double that.

  • Boisterous [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Allow me to preface this by saying that I swear this will tie into your point and is not a classic “but what about men” post.

    I’m also a guy and I’ve had lots of older men and women express surprise that I can do basic chores like laundry. It’s always presented to me as praise, but I find that shit so insulting. The time in my life when I received these comments the most all i could think was “yeah I’ve been living on my own for 10 years. I’m pretty sure I know how to take care of myself.”

    However there’s lots of guys who also like the assumption that they’re naturally incapable of housework, and from what I’ve seen they enjoy it because it makes it easier for them to offload that work onto the women in their lives, like girlfriends/wives/mothers/sisters. I assume the women who enjoy that people assume they’re incapable of doing things like it for a similar reason; because then people offer to do it for them.

    Misogyny is weird and it really pushes conformity in both men and women.

    • antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      29 days ago

      It happens to dads a lot too. Earning some kind of gold star for just pulling your weight parenting.

  • reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net
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    1 month ago

    Stereotypes are annoying, but I think a necessary human condition. Until you know someone your judgements about them are largely going to be uninformed and wrong, but I think it’s too much to ask people to drop all assumptions and meet every stranger as a radical individual. Each of us gets used to the stereotypes people apply to us and we either make accommodations to counter them or we just accept that people will be wrong about us, especially where we deviate from the norm. It’s a byproduct of the fact that we see the world in groups when it’s really made of individuals.

    Ofc some assumptions can be straight up dangerous for people and we should try to stamp those out.

  • HubertManne@piefed.social
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    1 month ago

    My brother and I were pretty blown away with a pretty capable sister of ours when she had to call to deal with a flat tire. The thing is we saw her as more capable than your typical woman.

  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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    26 days ago

    Did you post this rant in order to have plausible deniability for being rude to women elsewhere?

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 month ago

    What’s wild is that I’ve met quite a few women who actually enjoy this.

    Those stupid women, don’t they know they can’t feel like that!

  • 7bicycles [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    I think I feel you. I seem to find myself working in places with many more women than men and have been told multiple times by women they’re glad i’m here to bring some stability in like some kind of fucked up office rooster. Which usually ends up in me saying I don’t believe women are inherently catty or whatever and being told yes they are by one. That’s an odd situation! Stop believing this shit!

  • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    I’ve seen this too and I’ve also caught myself making assumptions of incompetence for women and girls that I would not make for equivalent men and boys. We are programmed into this mode of thought by society and the conditioning goes deep. Viewed rationally, my mom is one of the most generally competent people on this planet, but even living with that example in my life did not prevent the culture from creating the pattern of assumptions in my head. I think the only thing an individual can do is be self critical and try to catch these patterns in their heads before they turn into misogynistic actions, because on some level I think that once the mode of thought itself is planted it’s never going to get changed.

  • Malyca@lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    Don’t hang out with terrible people, your life will improve immensely. IDK though I’d be proud of myself if I picked up a bike because I’m super weak on average. My husband’s Harley though? No way I’d be able to.