If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans? - Lemmy
lemmy.ml
Why or why not?
  • dragongloss [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    55·
    2 months ago

    Yup, the thread solely exists for cis people to justify their bigotry and then move the goal posts when they proven wrong that trans people come in a wide range of shapes and sizes that can fit their arbitrarily held requirements. Genital preference? Cool, trans people have a wide range of genitals. Want kids? Cool, trans people can and do have kids through a variety of methods. Oh? You just don’t want to date trans people despite being attracted to them? That’s what I thought!

    If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were cis? <-support this thread

  • spectre [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    49·
    2 months ago

    Seems like the thread was started by a blahaj trans person who wanted to have “constructive dialogue” with the transphobes?

    Fortunately it looks like most of the thread is “no, I’m partnered” or “yeah, whatever”.

  • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    45·
    2 months ago

    Cishet man:

    If somehow someone misgendered me it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest (though it may get a chuckle because I’m a bald, hairy dude with a big busty beard and fairly deep voice, not exactly the picture of femininity)

    Yea no shit because you know, and always have known, you’re a man and everyone has always treated you as such. Why would you even bring this up when it’s so clearly not comparable to a trans person’s experience, unless to downplay misgendering.

    If we want to count it under the trans umbrella, I don’t think that me dating a non-binary person with a vagina would be out of the question.

    Maybe even a FTM femboy type who hasn’t had or want bottom surgery.

    MTF, which I think is more in the spirit of this question, is a bit murkier though.

    I imagine everyone already knows what’s wrong in this picture.

    The best comparison I do have is that I generally consider myself to be a boob-guy, and while it’s not an outright disqualifier, fake boobs don’t usually do it for me in quite the same way as real ones, but some are better than others, and while I tend to like big boobs, I have nothing against small ones, and a mastectomy isn’t a deal-breaker for me either.

    Fuck this guy

    • mickey [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      30·
      2 months ago

      <<cracks knuckles>> Aww yeah time for me to cishetorally weigh in on this.

      1. This dude absolutely would get annoyed if someone were aggressively misgendering him at work or whatever regular social interactions he has. It is disrespectful and he’d take it as such. It would become an issue.

      1b. Boys in our culture are brought up with at least two important rules of masculinity which is 1- don’t be a girl and 2- don’t be gay. Boys (or adults, shamefully) calling other boys girls as an insult is 100% part of teasing & bullying and teaching gendered behavior. There is no way there was not a time in this man’s life when calling him a girl was fighting words.

      1. (And I want to be respectful when discussing bodies and preferences) This focus on boobs and genitals primary and secondary sexual characteristics feels a bit reductive and objectifying. A straight man likes women (allegedly) and knows how to interact romantically with a woman, and if he were attracted to a trans-woman then her anatomy is what it is. Whereas for a straight man in relation to a trans-man, well it doesn’t matter what his anatomy is because he wouldn’t know how to interact romantically with another fella.
      • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.netEnglish
        17·
        2 months ago

        and knows how to interact romantically with a woman

        lol

        and if he were attracted to a trans-woman then her anatomy is what it is

        there’s no way most people are genital-agnostic. sexual compatibility is important for allos and that’s not just bits and body shape, it’s kink, it’s group stuff, toys, butt stuff, what kind of noises somebody makes, how often…

        • mickey [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          11·
          2 months ago

          I agree, people aren’t genital-agnostic and they shouldn’t be expected to be. To be more precise I could have said that a straight person might be wholistically attracted to a trans person of the opposite gender, and likewise not be attracted to a trans person of their same gender. I’m not trying to be the transphobe’s meme of a wokie who’s canceling people for not wanting to date trans folks, sexual compatibility is requisite to dating. You make an important point that was missing in my reply, but please keep what I said in the context of my reacting to a lib-hog saying he would date an AFAB themby, a femme transman, but that a transwoman would be mUrKy.

          Like he coulda said that shit with his chest and moved on, but instead he intellectualized it and went on to start talking about what kind of boobs he’s into.

    • redchert@lemmygrad.ml
      18·
      2 months ago

      Maybe even a FTM femboy type who hasn’t had or want bottom surgery.

      Oh look the libs that joked about homophobes actually being all closeted gays due to them thirsting over femboys, were wrong and straight men actually think femboys means trans women.

        • redchert@lemmygrad.ml
          13·
          2 months ago

          True but trans men are practically absent from the “discourse”, except for some lesbian terfs who fearmonger about the butch replacement theory. So I didnt include them in the text.

  • NotMushroomForDebate@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    43·
    2 months ago

    I knew as soon as I saw that thread that the comments were going to be terrible.

    Most westerners can’t even tell if someone’s being racist if they’re not shouting slurs, let alone recognise the incredible amount of transphobia in their way of thinking.

    “I wouldn’t date a trans person because I’m straight” shut the fuck up.

  • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    41·
    2 months ago

    I hate threads like this, it’s just to make it seem like trans people don’t get dates or relationships, when in reality there’s a ton of really great people out there that aren’t redditor freaks